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Week 25


Yesterday marked the 25th week since Penny died.
It's very close to six months now.

Due to the trip south and the continual triggering of memories and feelings, I'm having a lot more pain than I was a week or two before.
On the scale of 1-10, with 1 being none, and 10 being the worst emotional pain I've ever felt... this week has been averaging a 7.

Yesterday before I woke up I was having another dream where Penny was still living with me. I think the most important parts of the dream were feelings. In the dream, I knew it was a temporary thing, I was dimly aware that I was dreaming, and things could have continued in the dream but the conditions of it weren't quite clear. It was so nice to be able to talk with her, to hug her, and just feel an actual physical touch in response. On the drive, I'd felt as if she was sitting right next to me so many times, that was the cause of at least one screaming episode. I'm glad other drivers weren't near me while that was going on, as they'd be wondering what that guy was shouting about.

Disabling comments on this entry. I appreciate the support, but I've got to focus on work today, and it's going to be harder if I'm responding in this context.