So far I'm batting 0.0 on my goals for the week, as stated in last week's Emo post.
While I've managed to wake up earlier (now that it's cool enough to sleep earlier) I'm still not making it out of the apartment before noon.
I suspect this is because there isn't any specific person needing me to be here earlier. In fact, I'm almost certain of it. And my own disordered and disorganized self-discipline would rather do things like clean the kitchen and run the dishwasher, fix breakfast, start laundry and such in the morning than in the evening when it will bug the hell out of my neighbors upstairs.
Also, getting REALLY sleepy at 10:30 is not conducive to getting out, and I think my blood sugars are way to high again. I ate a small bag of Kettle chips the other night, and after about three hours, I felt like I was about to fall over with nausea, which means it was WAY too high.
Last night, I used the cheap plastic mandolin-slicer that I got at Target to slice a small red potato (about 1/3 cup size) and a medium-small beet into thinnish discs; I had hoped to make those really nice slightly puffy crisped potato chips, but the beets cooked faster and the potato slices turned a caramel color rather than a golden color, just a BIT too long in the hot oil. I might try the remaining beets sliced into strings instead of chips, and not return them to the hot oil. I didn't get the same sickness, but my blood sugars were in the 'dammit' range this morning anyway, and I can tell that I need to fix it because my left ankle is retaining water or something, and it does this mostly when my blood sugars are too high. Compression bandage tonight for YOU, Mr. Puffy.
I've learned that my withholdings for taxes and such are at something like 35%. This seems, I dunno, a bit HIGH to me. Usually, the 'Holiday' setting is too high, and it's 27%.
Oh well. I might've done it on purpose to protect myself from stupid tax stuff, since I no longer have a house or a Penny to reduce my tax rate, and cats don't count.
In other failures, today was the first day cool enough to ride the bicycle to work, and I didn't do so, because I was goofing around too long and the sun came out from the clouds. Bah, humbug.
I still have to take the thrice-damned toe clips off.
Dunno if I mentioned this, but it's entirely possible for a person to forget how to ride a bicycle, and for a person to get sufficiently out of shape (physically as well as athletically) that their reflexes, when they do come back, are WRONG.
On Saturday, that being one of the three PEAK HEAT days (106 in Beaverton) I decided to head in to work at 11:00AM. My car is too small and lacks a bicycle rack, so I took the train and walked over to GI Joe's. In the hot.
Fortunately I had put on sunblock (not enough though) and didn't burn that much, but my skin is going all weird lately, and I know it was SOMEWHAT red through the afternoon. I didn't pay much attention to that, because I had decided to head towards the regular Tektronix entry rather than back along the bike path, and was in the bike lane next to a curved-topped sidewalk, and trying to put my foot into the useless toe clip, it caught on the concrete edge, the bike went out of control, and I found myself with that sick disgusting sensation of falling down. Fortunately the car behind me was far enough back to go around me and the next car stopped to make sure I was OK, and that I got going OK after I got back up. Very nice people.
My left shin has a classic Road Rash, and my left forearm had a small amount of same, which has gone away quickly. I've been slathering the shin with Neosporin, just to keep it from going all stupid on me.
SO yeah, I need to take the toe clips off the bike before I do ANY more riding. Stupid things.
Enough with the whining about my health, as I should do something about that instead of kvetching.
I got my main character on City of Heroes to L50 on Saturday night, one week later than I'd planned to do, but that was mostly because of Real People (Penny's term for non-online physical presence) were holding a birthday celebration for their daughter-in-law and me, since we share a birthday. Had I stayed at home all day Saturday the 15th being a total goob I would've made it to 50 then, but enh. I had yummy mexican style food and lots of fun and talked to people a lot and got to play 'moto-croquet' and otherwise generally enjoyed myself. As an extravert, I have found that while I can do a lot to charge up with online interactions, I really get better energy from person-to-person interaction, and the party was big enough that I could modulate the number of people I was dealihg with.
I also made it to church on Sunday, but the guy I wanted to meet with wasn't there, darnit.
A very good friend (and one of the guys I did my Stephen Ministry training with) sort of ambushed me though. I mentioned music, somewhere, as having the ability to completely rip away all my poise and all my emotional checks and balances. This has always been true: certain music will bypass the emotional controls and I turn into a totally uncontrolled wreck, either furious or crushed or sappy beyond belief. Some people think that having control on one's emotions is a bad thing and that they should be Let Out for Everyone to Experience, Because it's More Honest.
Some people are mistaken. I control my emotional responses because if I don't, then (1) my narcolepsy will trigger and I will shake uncontrollably, become very weak physically, and be unable to react coherently, or worse, fall unconscious; or (2) I'll say or do something that will hurt someone else. To add to this, even though it's 'family', I don't consider it appropriate to break down sobbing in front of a large group of people.
Unfortunately, my friend was coming back to his seat from the healing altar when I was trying to cope with a particularly disarmoring hymn, and I had to tell him I would talk about how things were going later, and he caught me in the 'coffee hour' immediately after.
This bothers me a lot. I need to tell him, I guess, that I'll talk to him IN PRIVATE about it, but that I can't handle the full 16 channels of signal coming from 20 different people with my barriers down like that.
And I don't think that my feelings, whatever they are, "have to come out" until I feel all right about them doing so, whether or not I'm strong enough to handle it, or his being there will enable me to express them. It makes it more likely that they'll hit when I don't want them to, like when I'm trying to concentrate on work. I know he means well, but I don't think he understood that, and I'll have to set some boundaries.
So. Work. Which I'd better get back to doing now.