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Spider-Thursday


I haven't been writing much about Penny lately. I've been howling, but she doesn't answer, and the place is just as much too quiet as it has been for a while.

Went to see Spider-Man 3 tonight. @yay. Two and a half hours of fresh roasted extra-crisp where the hell was the EDITOR? plus an equal, thick spread of about an inch of I Can't Believe It's Not Going Anywhere, GET ON WITH IT!

OK, so I liked the scenes with Venom, and the Sandman, all gorgeous work, and the CGI Spidercostume and all that stuff was great. Although Toby's tummy was a bit too flubbity in that scene where his clothes get ripped up.

And I _LIKED_ Brock-with-the-teeth. Very nice work there.

OK, what did I _not_ like?

Mary Jane was completely mis-written.

Broken Suspender of Disbelief #1, the Broadway Play. First off, by opening night they would KNOW if Mary Jane's voice was not good enough. They would know that by, oh, I dunno, FIRST ROUND CASTING?!

So, idiot cliche directors 1 and 2, no, sorry, you fail to convince me. Unless you're secretly Bialystock and Bloom, there's no excuse for, and no financing for, incompetency of that degree.

And if her voice was really that weak, they'd just stick a mike on her anyway.

So, bullshit.

And Broken Suspender of Disbelief #2, MJ's Scene on the Bridge, what drugs were the writers, director, actors, producers, and editors on?

We see Harry with the Kid Goblin persona fully returned, ASSAULTING MJ, telling her what SHE IS GOING TO DO, and what do we see? MJ on the bridge, giving Peter this speech about not loving him, etc. ad nauseam.
Uh... yeah. I thought maybe Kid Goblin was threatening her parents or something, because, there's no WAY that girl would be THAT stupid. It makes NO sense as presented. I could believe her ACTING to convince Pete-idjit that she didn't love him in order to save her folks, but for no other reason.

Despite the glaring plot holes, I did cheer for BadPeter and his slap-down of Kid Goblin. That was especially well deserved. Although, the massive scarring (which changed from scene to scene, hooray for continuity) was kind of a shock, and when Wormsbody the Ancient Zombie Mummy Butler finally explains what happened to Harry... WHAT THE HELL WAS WRONG WITH HIM SAYING SOMETHING EARLIER?!


I resent paying nine bucks for this film. I resent paying 14 bucks for a hotdog, popcorn, and drink, as well, but that at least I can lay to my own stupidity.

I greatly, greatly fear that the DVD will contain additional material that was left out, bringing it to a full three hours.

And frankly, it could have done a lot better as two or three other movies first. Kid Goblin could have carried a movie by himself, with the Symbiote. Sandman could have carried a short movie by himself, possibly introducing Eddie Brock. And the end of the movie, the big fight, could have easily been set up as a completely separate other movie.

And it would have sucked less. And there might have been less of Peter (Dark Dork) Parker doing his Czechoslovakian Guys impersonation.



Do not click if you dislike spoilers and care about Spidey 3.

Comments

( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
bunny_m
May. 11th, 2007 08:02 am (UTC)
I came out of the movie pretty ambivalent myself, but then, I went in with pretty low expectations. (And seeing it with a bunch of like-minded friends didn't hurt any either.) That said, there were some good bits, along with several way too long boring/pointelss/unbelievable bits. Pretty much anything involving MJ come under that heading.

For the most part, I liked the really abbreviated versions we got of Venom*, the symbiote and Sandman, but they were way too compressed. But how is it that in a move that was so overstuffed with plotlines, there were so many boring bits? Seriously, how did they manage that?

From what I hear, this was meant to b three (or more) movies, but the studio executives (in their infinite wisdom), decided that they weren't sure if they could be bothered funding any more Spidey movies, so Mr Raimi would just have to take all of the plots for those movies and scrunch them into the one.

I mean, if plot is good, more plot *must* be better, right? >.>

(*) The actor playing Eddie Brock did a very decent job with what he had, but seriously, was there some reason that they chose a tiny weedy guy for the role? I mean, come on, Eddie is meant to be a big guy, and even more so as Venom. THere should be no chance of confusing the two, 'cause Venom is like twice Spidey's size. [/nitpick]
foomf
May. 11th, 2007 04:46 pm (UTC)
They chose a tiny weedy guy so that the CGI for Venom could provide whatever level of huge-osity they wanted.

And, that actor isn't actually tiny or weedy; he's one of those guys who looks smaller with clothes on because he's not built up past the normal parameters for clothes.
thandrak
May. 11th, 2007 06:43 pm (UTC)
Eddie's actor would make a PERFECT Lance Bannon, though.
scavgraphics
May. 11th, 2007 07:36 pm (UTC)
...they went with That 70's Topher Grace as Brock cuz he has a similar size and build to Maquire....he's an evil Peter Parker. That way they could do the "We thought it was Spider-Man, but it wasn't" stuff...comic brock is like twice Peter's size.
dvandom
May. 11th, 2007 04:09 pm (UTC)
The editor actually did quite a bit of tightening in final cut. According to Peter David, the film as originally shot was a lot more bloated.
foomf
May. 11th, 2007 04:48 pm (UTC)
Not nearly enough. I got the point about Spectacular Spider-Jerk with the first three shots of Mr. Cool. I didn't need an additional 4 minutes of it.


When I have to look away from the screen so as to not scream at the stupid, there's something wrong with what's on there.
(Deleted comment)
foomf
May. 11th, 2007 08:00 pm (UTC)
No. If he threatened her in any way, her entire reaction is stupid. She would end up telling someone, sometime, and that never happened. And yet, without him threatening her she would never do it either, unless he had some completely compelling reason, and that would have to be shown onscreen.

It was a plot point that was necessary to get Black Peter back, and it sucked because it was not justified by anything they showed us.
scavgraphics
May. 11th, 2007 08:50 pm (UTC)
I read the scene as "break up with him or he dies..and if you tell anyone, you die". shurg
foomf
May. 11th, 2007 11:23 pm (UTC)
It still makes no sense to me: if he's told her that, why would she have anything to do with him afterwards?
scavgraphics
May. 11th, 2007 11:34 pm (UTC)
I don't recall her having anything to do with him afterwards...Harry tells Peter that he's the one she's with (which I assumed meant he was lying)....but we never see them together after the bridge scene, to my recollection.
foomf
May. 13th, 2007 02:42 am (UTC)
Hm. Well, I suppose the whole scene at the end where he dies in her arms doesn't count because he's done his Face Turn. But really, that doesn't matter, because the whole premise of 'I'll Kill Peter' as a threat doesn't work.
scavgraphics
May. 11th, 2007 07:38 pm (UTC)
I could believe her ACTING to convince Pete-idjit that she didn't love him in order to save her folks, but for no other reason.

Uhm...I'm confused..or you're confused..or someone's confused...That's what happened, I thought (well I assumed it was a "break up with Peter or I kill him" type of thing). No?
drath
May. 13th, 2007 04:52 am (UTC)
It's... A... Movie based on a Comic Strip.

"If you're wondering how he eats and breathes, and other science facts..."

-Satellite-Of-Like-
foomf
May. 13th, 2007 06:59 am (UTC)
The previous movies did not break the characterizations. This one did. I didn't go to see something bot-worthy, but everywhere that MJ appeared, something was jarring and wrong.
drath
May. 13th, 2007 06:12 pm (UTC)
Never liked her in the Sunday funnies anyway. Had too big a tendency to go Archie and Veronica for my tastes. ;-)
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )