I thought about going to a party at the Church last night, and about going to a party at the Smiths' and about staying in and doing virtuous things and about staying in and not doing virtuous things.
I didn't go out. Was so tired by 11pm that it took me a half hour to find the energy to take my insulin and go to bed. Of course, the activity of taking the damn shot started to wake me up, and I had to clean my teeth so the mouthpiece I wear to let me breathe at night would not get disgusting and my mouth would not taste like a septic pit when I woke up.
By the way, waterpik is a wonderful thing.
Ended up finishing the space-military-opera (Kris Longknife, Mutineer) that I started reading at my folks' place on Christmas Eve. It was pretty decent, and the guy who writes it is a local, I think I know him from Orycon.
And maybe this year I'll feel up to Orycon again finally.
I'm remembering 2006, of course. If I want to NOT be reminded so strongly then I need to get out of this apartment, make a home elsewhere. I feel that I cannot do that at this time simply because it costs more money than I have, to get a house, and requires a steady job, and while a bank MIGHT loan me money to get that house, I would not be stupid enough to think that it was in any way appropriate for me to take out that loan.
Yeah, after 53 years on earth I have learned a tiny amount of fiscal responsibility.
I owe Epiphany gifts to Pat, Lisa, small things to the girls, to the Smiths and the Needhams. I should send something to Cherie and Liam as well, and probably to James and Brit and the two future rulers of the earth, i.e., their terrifying offspring.
I need to clean. My apartment is so cluttered with stuff that it becomes more cluttered, but it's not as horrid, quite, as it was before. It's well past time to take out the recyclables. My living room arrangement is broken, and the feng-shui analysis that Susan did for me (completely as an amateur and with suggestion in mind only) has helped me do some small things to make it feel better, but the way the apartment is laid out defies the rules of that system. Probably better that I not try too hard to make that work since it's ritual magic and I prefer to keep my ritual in the context of Church where I won't be tempted to misuse it.
Work... I had this week off, involuntarily. As I expected, I did NOTHING work related and I find I don't have as sharp a grasp of what's going on with the project work I was doing, but that's usual for two weeks in a row of vacation. And I did need that. Scott-my-work-boss got me a month contract while they try to get the 2010 budget past the bean-worshippers. He has me down for a year, but they haven't come back with the answers.
I have to decide, though. If the contract doesn't come back for the year, but instead is per-quarter like last year, I will not be happy but I will continue. If it's per-month now, I will begin actively looking for work elsewhere. I love the group I work with, I love the people, and I rather enjoy MOST of what I do, but month to month is just too much stress for my health at this point.
Vacation felt very good in that I actually stopped thinking about work, for the most part.
Not going to love two weeks in a row of no paycheck, though. Still, I have a bit over 3K in the main account in the bank, 11K in a CD, owe 855 on the car and 213 on the Visa. There's a lead time on getting paid, which means I get paid next on the 20th.
It appears to cost me a bit over 3K a month to live, with rent and meds and stuff, which annoys the hell out of me because it should be possible to live much more cheaply than that. A chunk of that is rent on the apartment. I pay a chunk for storage and a chunk for cable/internets and a chunk for insurance and a chunk for electrics and two chunks for phones (mobile and voip) and a big chunk for meds and a big chunk for food which I should NOT be doing the way I do. And I have it much better than some of my friends.
The world in general didn't end, for a number of people.
2009 was not so much a bad year for me as it was for other people I know. But, I am hoping that 2010 will close the first decade of the 21st century CE ... with things improving. I am hoping that the self-serving authoritarian greedy bastard political demagogues (mostly Republican, alas, but certainly not limited to any party) will be shown the error of their ways in suitably just fashion, and perhaps that people will start to remember that we actually DO need to cooperate, not auto-predate, to survive and thrive.