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Brain Slug 1, Me 0

Over the past month and a half, I have had a chronic, annoying sensation of something sitting on my soft palate, as if it were a giant banana slug perched in my nasal passages, slowly taking over my brain.

I am informed that this is NOT in fact a cephalopodian intruder, but rather, most likely it is simply an allergy.

Oh dear god, if this is NORMAL for allergies, then I am all for refocusing major parts of our national budget in the search for a cure!


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 28th, 2011 12:22 am (UTC)
Yes, please!!
Jun. 28th, 2011 12:46 am (UTC)
Uh, you do know that the doctors are in on it, right?

Why do you think that salt wash works? Slugs hate salt, so wage war using a salt solution through your sinuses.

This message brought to you by the number Pi and a slug named Yogorth6. :)
Jun. 28th, 2011 09:26 pm (UTC)
They give me drug instead.
Some form of "flonase".
Jun. 28th, 2011 09:31 pm (UTC)
And since the doctors are in on the invasion, that probably translates as "Caviar for Slugs" :)

It's been a lousy year for slugs in our garden also, they've even turned up their noses at the Coors Light I use in the slug trap. I may have to buy something that actually resembles beer in order to keep them away from the cucumber plants.
Jun. 28th, 2011 09:39 pm (UTC)
Your slugs have discerning palates. You should feed them those evil cardboard tomatos that they grow in hothouses and use to pretend they're putting tomato in your hamburger.

That way, if they don't die of malnutrition, you'll at least be training them to destroy pernicious weeds rather than food.
Jun. 28th, 2011 09:47 pm (UTC)
Or the Valerian, which has grown from the original three plants into one whole corner of the garden. They'll be so stoned they'll forget to duck back into the ground before the sun comes up. :)
Jun. 28th, 2011 01:45 pm (UTC)
My friend's 5-year old recently developed (for lack of a better word) annoying blinking. She googled it and found out that it could be:

* eyestrain
* Asperger's Syndrome
* Tourette's

She was FREAKING OUT. She made an appointment at the pediatrician's office. The doctor took a look in his eyes and pronounced it allergies. He gave Ezra some eyedrops and the blinking has magically disappeared. He now blinks like a normal person.

Freaking allergies, eh?
Jun. 28th, 2011 09:34 pm (UTC)
I managed for years without too many allergies. After all, the freaking Narcolepsy is the result of an autoimmune reaction, and I was told I have some possible Lupus indicators, but the only real allergy (other than mild and transient nasal ick) I had was to thimerosal, and I had that because it was the preservative in my contact lens solution.

I resent that my body has decided to be stupid in a new and different way.
Jun. 29th, 2011 03:27 pm (UTC)
My sister wasn't allergic to anything until her senior year of high school. Then she developed a pollen allergy so bad that her eyes would swell shut and crust over. (Ew. I know.) She had allergy tests done to have allergy shots, and they did some food allergy tests as well. Turns out that she's allergic to peanuts and wheat as well. She took Seldane for her allergies for years back in the day, but that caused all sorts of heart problems, including an arrhythmia that had to be fixed by heart surgery to zap the problem place in her heart.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )