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Penny was awake all night - a bad habit she's had lately.
She had the laptop. She got busy looking at plumbing sites, because we have an ugly bathroom - two of them, actually. Our house was built in 1972. This doesn't explain why the house has fixtures in the 'light' version of harvest gold.

The master bathroom tiles are white with harvest gold edging. The useless wading-pool bathtub that takes up far too much room, but cannot be used for a bath because it's too shallow, harvest gold. The toilet, harvest gold. The cabinets covered in mahogany colored vaneer. The linoleum an attractive fake-brick pattern, covered by white press-on tiles that haven't stayed where they were originally placed, instead sliding apart making a lovely peek-a-boo effect.

Did I mention the pirate-gold faux carved mirror frame and the amber decorative lamp globes suspended by giant swag chains? Yes, it's the Pirate Booty Bathroom.

The one downstairs is only partly as bad - the mirror and lamps-on-chains are the same, and the press-on tiles are the same, and the mahogany-veneer cabinet. The main problem downstairs is the sliding glass door track that stubs both of our feet when we get in and out of the bathtub, and the fact that they put a full bath into the space of a half-bath.

But we no longer think we have the worst bathroom. While looking at George Morlan Plumbing (the water-heater king!) she came across America's Ugliest Bathroom.

Things could be worse.